LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I went fishing and caught one big, beautiful, king salmon fish, I cooked it in the oven, after I put it in a dish, Out of the oven, the fish...

I like to eat fresh crawdads, and put fresh crawdads in my stew, I add some peppers, and grind some spice, and share my stew with you, My pu...

I went into a public restroom, and it needed multiple cleans, The white floor was all covered, with chicken livers, and bluegill fish, splee...

I bought two tubs of tuna, and found one stinky, rotten, yesterday, I had left it in the basement, about 16 months ago, I'd say, The oth...

The meal I made had become weaponized, The kids were fighting each other with fries, Surrounded by missile booms, I sent all kids to their r...

There were 35 dead flies on my sesame seed bun, I know, because I counted every wire-winged one, The many flies and stale bun had to go, The...

I opened my refrigerator, and maggots were eating my beef roast, J wondered how the maggots tasted, so I ate some on my buttered toast, They...

There was once an advanced hominid species, far smarter than man, They only ate macaroni, and it had to come from a can, After adding small ...

I went to the grocery store to buy some breast cuts of chicken, When I sorted through the cuts of chicken, my ticker did quicken, The only c...

The little creature floating in my stew, I caught in the lake that was colored blue, I bopped his head, so he would not come to, If he did, ...

The stew I ate was full of stones and dirt, The stew caused me a real awful, bad hurt, I cracked a dear tooth, I had since my youth, And bro...

I have animal blood and sugar, to flavor my potato, tonight, I do not have any so called money, but I am still eating alright, Soon, when my...

I had parmesan cheese frog in my roaster, Thick garlic/onion bread in my wide toaster, It's the bestest of dinners, The best of the big ...

Jerry the rabbit is always picking his big nose, He picks and he picks, until the red blood freely flows, He does it at the dinner table, It...

A law was just passed saying you could no longer eat chicken, If you were caught eating bird you'd get a public licken, A punishment of ...

I cheesed and cheesed my lettuce salad mix, It still tasted bad, so I tried a bacon bits fix, I got tired of messing, So I dumped on the dre...

I went to a restaurant and ordered fish for my suppy, I paid $45.00. and they served me a guppy, The fish portion was so small, I gave the w...