LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I traveled to Mars, and there wasn't much scenery there, Just a sickly coconut tree and a small koala bear, No place good to eat, No one...

I went to Canada to buy a green curtain, for my bathroom shower, A Canadian shower curtain, shows I have a real super power, For I fill a gr...

I bought a dozen large, chicken eggs, Inside, I found beaks, eyes, guts and legs, Near as I could tell, These eggs were not well, The store ...

It's pretty near freezing, and my socks were stolen from me, They were stolen by squirrels, to haul their nuts up their tree, As winter ...

Serious squirrels love their found, big cigarette butts, Squirrels store found butts away, as if they were nuts, In winter it snows and blow...

Early in the morning, Frank did the dirtiest deed, He went to the mall for his daily weed and some seed, The shop was not there, Closed by S...

I bought me a snowblower and it did not work, I tried taking it back, and it was refused by a clerk, I demanded to talk to the one in charge...

I searched for a great bargain price, On cereal that was a poofed kind of rice, I found nothing cheap, So I stormed home in my jeep, Scratch...

I have a hobby, So I went to a Lobby, The store clerks were snobby At the checkout, I got robby, I became very sobby, They called in a bobby...

There was a dragon named Bill, He worked at the card shop by the mill, And, when his own funds got depleted, Bill often repeated, A five fin...

The figs I ate were rotten, That's why they were cheaply gotten, So, when at a store, Don't buy like you're poor, Or, on the...