LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

J went outside to hoe my garden, but everything was dead, Somehow it had turned to fall, but it was spring inside my head, Where did the spr...

There once was a dizzy dog that went "gur", His " gur" got under the other dogs fur, More times than just the once, They...

I gathered up my jumpy dog, and locked down my crumbling hovel, We walked down to the sandy beach, with my toy plastic pail and shovel, Buil...

It is spring in Michigan, and maple leaves are popping out, It's like the maple leaves, are giving the warmer sun, a shout, Now, the rob...

I climbed up a sand dune mountain, too early in the spring, My bare feet went numb, and my bare fingers, ached with a sting, A T and shorts,...

Way up in the oak tree, there was a Mamma robin red breast, The bird was back from Florida, and laid four eggs in her nest, The nest got cov...

I parboil ground hog,  to make them nice and tender, I eat too much ground hog, that is why I ain't too slender, I deliver the ground ho...

Everyone in my town, has had severe frostbite of the nose, They all had their snoggers cut off, before their high school picture pose, Town ...

After Benny played outside in the cold snow, His nose got so stuffed up, Benny could not blow, The blowback popped his ears, Then he shed ma...

I slipped on some black ice and fell on my pretty face, My face got deep, dark scratches, and I got a neck brace, So be careful out there, F...

Before the snow and the frosty freeze, I went out to trim my apple trees, My face felt fast breezed, I hiccuped and sneezed, The bear came o...

I got polar vortexed, and it really didn't feel, very good, I used all my tanked propane, and burned every stick of wood, It froze hairs...

I only get it once a year, The winter solstice, lets be clear, It's a cold night, Warm clothes are tight, Then at midnight, we raise a b...

December days are too many, black, cold and very long, The spirit who designed December, was in the head, wrong,  It's painfully chilly,...

We all hope that enough winter nuts, we have now, squirreled, As the dark, bleak drapes of winter, cover our new world, And, ode to the snow...

The cold winter wind blows, then repeats, It's winter, and I have no blankets or sheets, Deliveries are at a stop, Even for my dear, sod...

Today is known as November One, It's real cold, and there ain't much for sun, In the pie pumpkin patch, Pumpkins ready to hatch, I...

The green leaves are all dying to brown, the skies are gray, The summer has passed, and for those fine times we will pay, In this technical ...

Serious squirrels love their found, big cigarette butts, Squirrels store found butts away, as if they were nuts, In winter it snows and blow...

Little Petunia grew by the sea, Little Petunia popped flowers for me, Then in the fall, There were no flowers at all, Little Petunia just ce...