LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I really hate doing all of my college prep, maths, More than taking early morning, cold showers, and baths, My teach, she grades real hard, ...

I found a brand new, super type of AI, It writes term papers, like a real human guy, Some call my cheating, sleazy, I just like easy peasy, ...

The valves on my euphonium were turning, sort of a green, I hard polished to get those valves looking chic, metallic clean, The band leader ...

Trina got some brand new, pink shoes that fit her tiny, little feet, Mom packed Trina a sack lunch, so she could stuff her small face and ea...

My algebra answer, did not add up to x+y, I got scolded by the teacher, and I started to cry, She said I acted like babies, Then I nervous s...

My bus was late to Jefferson Junior High, My teacher didn't care; he didn't even ask why? He said he'd improve my rule retent...

I was a driver's trainee, When it was pour down rainy, I hit the brake, Slid, hit the lake, After going through the fence called...

I can't tell if my pet is a cat or a dog, It could be a goldfish, or a tree climbing frog, I should go to school, But that is not cool, ...

I opened my mail, and got a brand new communication, Addressed from the university administration, They said they looked and could not see, ...

Sharp as a pencil that I was, I'm a real hard worker with all I does, But, I ain't been hired so what's the buzz? I got no...

I burned the books in my house, and what did I get? Three sons in the jail, and they each have a dimwit, They turned out, not to be bright, ...

My gargoyle ripped up my homework, then chowed down poor auntie Bess, My gargoyle was a real jerk, and on the floor, left a big scat mess, H...

Before Benny went back to school, he said, "bye", to Winston Church, Winston is a parakeet, who sits and poops upon his perch, Ben...

I thought if I went to college, I'd have money to burn Instead, my debt was a nightmare, a lifelong concern, Never thought of a house, N...

The three siblings were bad, that is without any doubt, Bader than head lice, food poisoning, rabies and gout, They were not chicken, They w...

Teacher told me I couldn't use the ampersand (& ), He said in his class, that symbol was banned, Well it just is not fair, Just beca...

If I have to drink tea again, I'm going to resign, Some days I want coffee, some days I pine wine, In kindergarten, all day, I am stuck ...

I wrote for class a little song, Graded "F", grammar was wrong, I played pingpong, A game of Kong, Then watched monster movies all...

I went to the odd school, No desk or chair, we had a stool, We never learned about sums, Were taught reading was for bums, The kids did noth...