LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Every time I eat fried perch and then sleep, I dream I'm swimming in, out waters, in the way dark and deep, I'm chased by walley...

I was on some wicked water skies, When attacked by vicious honey bees, The bees attacked my pale, naked knees, The poison made my leg muscle...

While I rafted down a creek, My rubber raft ripped a big leak, Then dry-shore I tried to seek, But cold water made me swim too meek, Soo...

A snake fell into my swimming pool, I guess he wanted to feel real cool, He chased us all away, On a hot summer day, Now "no snakes in ...

A shark circled me, while watched by his mummy, I thought the shark was another reef bummy, He got right up in my face, So I sprayed him wit...

I went to do a river dance, and I almost drowned, The river swept me off my feet, and twisted me round and round, Then when I thought my bod...

Ten little minnows nibbled on my toes, I thought nothing of it until their number rose, When I went to swim to shore, There were a mil...

At 5'8" I hit my head on the stoop, Then, I just started to recoup, At a weight of pounds 144, I fell through the bad floor, And, w...

On Friday the 13th we went skinny dipping at Lake Meade, "Our folks should never know", is what we all agreed, But, along  comes t...

It is the first day of spring and I'd like to go swimming, But, the lake is froze over so my prospects are dimming, A cold front is m...