LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

My backpack was full of candy bars, filled with chocolate cream, The squirrels that were following me, had developed a scheme, I was a nerd,...

They were all real sad, when they got back from shopping for chips in town, They could not find a single bag of chips, that was not busted d...

I bought some delicious, almond nuts, and they were all tainted, With some nasty bacteria, the almonds had been painted, I took them back to...

Apple Fritters Monday is how the usual morning, work week starts, Apple fritters are sweet and greasy, full of sour, fruity tart, tarts, Fri...

I was watching the Superbowl and eating cheese balls, I  violently disagreed with all the ref calls, Many cheese balls started flying, The s...

I ordered some extra nuts off the net, They're almonds, the right size nuts, you can bet, I ordered the real salty, Goes with my beer th...

Jim's Twinkie was shrinking with every big bite, As Jim's Twinkie was shrinking, Jim's belt grew more tight, Jim just went to th...

I love tasty potato chips, When they're salty on my soft lips, Vinegar sour, Sour cream power, Are the flavors that build my hips. 32024

My pork rinds were not so greasy or sweet, So, I fried them with grease and brown sugar for my treat, Now, I have to confess, They were a st...

I'm having the fruit cocktail with those little sweet red cherries, It tastes even better with a few scrumptious blueberries, Then I add...

I was chewing on some canned nuts, but my teeth got bleeding soar, I stoped eating the canned nuts, but I did pine for many more, Well, I mo...

He set his bun upon his left knee, Upon his right, he set his tea, From his left jacket pocket, he pulled some ham, From his right pocket, h...

I don't like it when the dog kisses me on my lips, My hound Bubba kisses me after I eat salty kips, He don't kiss when I eat sardine...

I was on a great sand dune, Waiting for the rise of moon, Waited there all afternoon, Ate a cookie, macaroon, Need a toilet, please rise soo...

I'm so glad this week is all done, On the weekend, I'll have plenty of fun, I'll get lots of fancy dips, And dip slowly my fancy...

Sammy use to work on teeth, Until he married his best friend, Keith, They honeymoon-snorkeled a coral reef, While snacking on a can of beef,...

My hand got caught in my cookie jar, I got it out but, it has a big scar, My cookies are now cruddy, All covered in my bloody, And, my compa...

In my pretzel past, I was an overeater, I ate pretzel snacks with a pop, 1.5 liter, With all the pretzels I ate, I gained plenty of weigh...