LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

The eagle likes my little lambs; he takes one once a day, He flies them off into the mountains, that's where my lambs stay, The eagle on...

I bought a shack down in the holler, I moved in and spread out my squalor, I decided to let in, The rest of my kith and kin, Some cousins mu...

A bat got into the farmhouse, and frightened the wives and kids, Back behind the big sofa, that is where my family hids, We are  backwoods t...

I live in a house made of old tin, In a tin park, with all of my kin, On the tin park next door, My kin wage a great war, We win, steel all ...

I started green bean farming, way down in the deep dell, Their countywide, square dances there are mightily, swell, I kick up my guy heels, ...

Last night, someone grabbed all of my sweet pea vines, and jerked them down to the dirt, ground, I am sure it was a human, because of all th...

Today, old Dixie died of a heart attack, within her mobile home, She forever sleeps in oblivion, and her mind don't have to roam, Dixie ...

I had a hound dog, my pa named him Clyde, Clyde took off running from the farm, to hide, Clyde tangled with Moose, Our goose that got loose,...

Some of my neighbors live in tree houses; not safe from the big bad cat, Some neighbors live in tunnels, with family members packed in like ...

The next door neighbors are out scrapping up roadkill  for dinner, Looks like they got a  possum, and possum meat is a winner, It seems they...

My neighbors are porch pirates, who wait until I'm sleeping, Then up to my door, they come a creeping, And when I confront an offender, ...

Two old Teddy bears lived way out in the backwoods, They made rainbow candles, sold through shops in the hoods, Then they diversified, Makin...

Some guy got lost way out in my woods, We robbed him, we were dressed with yellow hoods, I told him, "follow my bro, The Toad", ...

I had some chickened noodles, chickened really good, They tasted like fresh chicken, like chickened noodles always should, Then I ate a road...

My cow loves her alcohol, but her milk is full of booze, And every time I drink her milk, I have to take a snooze, With the pig, goat, roost...