LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I shaved and dressed up to visit my dear, girl Pansy, in the park, Pansy works there at a small hotdog stand, long hours, and after dark, Sh...

I can't get insurance to cover the product I make, ginger beer, If a bunch of consumers drink it, and then die, that could cost me dear,...

My house was full of stinky, rowdy rats; I caged them and made them pets, I sold them for cash to neighbor kids; about that, I have no regre...

I played in the trumpet competition, and came in number nine, My teacher said I sounded o.k., my mama said I did fine, Being judged number n...

Spirits from the undead, nether world, spoke to me, once again, Through my dreams they warned me, about the spirit cast in my gin, My newly ...

Sammy painted all his toe nails, and he painted them all pink, Then on his face he tattooed a birdie, and used a light blue ink, And Sammy t...

My poor little dilly dog went swimming way too fast, He was swimming up a river, so of course he did not last, Down the river dilly dog flow...

All food deserves a garlic dash, It makes dull food vibrant and brash, Food with garlic delights my taster, And, garlic with butter is th...

Douglas had an old VCR, But, he couldn't find anything to play in it, They no longer put movies on those old wind up tapes, Instead, ...