LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

My warm home was full of hundreds of mice, and I noticed they were real fury, I wanted to catch them and make a coat, but they were always i...

One pound of water and five pounds of milk fat, That is the composition of my dumb cat, His name is Old Sleepy Roger, He's an activity d...

Murray ate everything, because he was a goat, That is how Murray got a fur ball, stuck in his throat, Murray had eaten a straw hat, The hat ...

Today, I had been feeling sort of low, So I went to a downtown, magic show, Out of a top hat, Was pulled a big rat, The rat shouted out that...

I got out my teacup, and in it were ten black mousey turds, I needed drink for sup, and the little turds overtook all words, I bleached out ...

There's a coyote lurking in my barn, He ate a very skinny rat, oh darn, The rat was called Paul, He lived in a stall, Paul made a nest f...

Jimmy thought the night was going real nice, Then he got to itching on his head lice, He scratched and bled, By morn he was dead, He was con...

I caught a rabbit in my trap, He started to cry, and I'm a sap, I let him go, That so and so, He ate my pansies, now I'm unhap

The rats they sleep all day, and prowl around all night, Looking for a spot of food, or an open toe to bite, Their teeth pierce the fleshy t...

I was a little chipmunk, and I got chased up a tree, A big growling cougar cat was really hungry for me, I climbed to the sky, But, I could ...

My cat lived in the big barn, where it is ice cream cone cold And now my barn dwelling cat, is getting kitty cat old, Every night he shook a...

The filth in my house gives my house an A+ rat rating, That's why I'm left home alone, with my family vacating, With the rats I'...

I had a rat living under my sink, He ate bleach, he died, now he stink, So I sprayed some air spray, And the stink went away, But the spray ...

A rodent named Larry sure liked his cheese, He had no manners and never said please, He saw a really big chunk, Just started eating, “Ker...