LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I traveled far to reach Michigan, I am a robin red breast, I desperately need to find a mate; I really need to nest, I'll soon be full o...

I entered a town, where everyone must be a Boomer, You had to be at least 60, to become a rent roomer, They play lame video games, all day, ...

Adriatic the real nice Martian, ended his interplanetary roam, He settled down in Northern Michigan, in a quaint, double wide, mobile home, ...

I journeyed to the Carpathians to become a real vampire, Ever since I was a new born, sucking fresh blood was a desire, I drink down blood t...

Poor, old Uncle Joe could never find romance, Joe became an expatriate, to South France, All the day long, He'd hum his song, At night t...

My fan got hot and caught on fire, It was atop my woodstove, which caused the dire, My melted, plastic fan, Made great flames and I ran, My ...

The old ducks they fly, and the old ducks they flew, My old folks went south, for fresh cornbread and stew, They summer in the north, May 1s...

There once was a mouse named Tookey, She stole while no one would lookey, She once stole a hair dryer, And, an outdoor turkey fryer, She ret...

Jimmy's toe jams smelled, He drank beer and his belly swelled, He retired to teach, At the beach, Sea turtles, how to mind meld.

I thought the car weight the ice could take, When I drove my pickup out on the lake, I instantly froze,  When under I goes, Now my bones are...

Santa made reindeer jerky, after he stored away the sleigh, Santa made plenty of jerky, enough to feed the elves until May, Santa made reind...

I have a chicken coup full of trash bags, full of cans, It's my retirement, and I have really big plans, Down at the town called Old Hol...