LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I went deep diving in a mini mall dumpster, to find a pair of shoes, I had a nice matching red pair, but someone stole them when I took a sn...

I bought a Michigan factory, and we're making tents, New tents for the people who can't afford paying their rents, Each tent has a s...

I got real stuck going through my bathroom, shower door, I eat too many starches, because I am so poor, I'm as wide as I am tall, And, I...

I could only buy one doll for Christmas, because that's all I can afford, This year, my seven daughters will have to share it, and no on...

My broke parents are canceling our Christmas, this year, No cookies for elves, and Santa won't get his wheat beer, Wow, our dinner menu ...

I cannot afford Halloween candy, I for sure,  can't afford Christmas brandy, Thanksgiving?  I won't eat, Can't afford bread or m...

The crickets are still chirping, but the air has turned coughing cold, I'd take me an apartment, but those affordable are sold, I set up...

I use to eat chicken tacos, but I will not eat them anymore, I can't afford chicken tacos, because of high prices at the store, My finan...

My mom has lived in a little, cozy, wattle house, Ever since she lost my dear dad, her devoted  spouse, She lives down by the old slurry, Th...

I take better, cheddar cheese, and add a cup of rice, I mix it up real well, adding in some salty spice, Sometimes for a big treat, Mama dem...

The inside of my refrigerator is covered with black mold, My pots and pans grow algae, and daytime roaches are extra bold, I don't know ...

I turned my car in, for some cold, hard cash, I needed money, because I am trash, I walked way downtown, Bought a cake, twas brown, Then bou...

All of my big brain was completely locked-in, On getting some sweet, baked beans, out of a tin, It's was a small, rusty can The opener r...

The place where I live, we have little income means, That is why we live on rice, beetle bugs and beans, I eat a few teaspoons of food, I...

I live in a dilapidated, housing den, Along with 16 other homeless, hungry men, We go to the zoo, Eat animal poo, Then rummage in garbage, a...

I have squatted 10,000 days, and been in jail, 10,000 more, Spending  nights in comfy, warm beds, next day, it's jail, and a food store,...

The economy is as repulsive as gray, boogered snot,15 With no money for rent, I find vacant homes, for a quick squat,14 Sometimes, there is ...

I dream of eating a whole stick of rich butter, Once I can afford to move, from this pee gutter, But, there's no jobs about, For this ge...

I was so darn hungry, I started eating fresh, fallen snow, I flavored it with weed seeds, that didn't cause me poisoning, woe, I flavore...

Because of severe economic, downturn inflation, My family's food stores are all gone like a castration, Gone are foods in cans and the j...