LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

There was an alien from Saturn, with a real name of Toots, She lacked having two, human legs, so they bar nicknamed her foots, Foots was a f...

I have a very diseased, unthinking, squirrelly, little brain, Doc says, it is so brittle and little, I must be insane, My brain cells died o...

After over snacking, all evening, on prunes or plums, Tension filled guests, waited in a line, to empty their tums, The pipes took in litera...

I use to have a job that pays, but I don't have one anymore, I use to work half a day, cleaning both the toilets at a store, I am disapp...

My bestie, blue pig, got all covered with the mud, I set him down in a tub of hot soapy sud, He let on a big, loud squeal, Like a braked Che...

My full name is Little Uncle Huey, I live in  a old beer stinker, shoey, I have lived here for lots of years, Raised a family; many tears, I...

I went to pond frog school to learn how to hop, hop, hop hop, I went to fish out of water school to learn to flip flop, I could hop, hop all...

Benny woke up this morning, and noticed a bump on his dome, He figured he banged his head during his late night, bathroom roam, Benny sat in...

I'm Herschel, a two foot tall zombie, and I lurk in the woods, I only eat the brains of pesky, Little Red Riding Hoods, Red Hoods are ve...

My friend, had a big, pretty yellow, sailboat, It was pretty new, because it still could float, We sailed one day, Up to Saginaw Bay, That...

My mom has lived in a little, cozy, wattle house, Ever since she lost my dear dad, her devoted  spouse, She lives down by the old slurry, Th...

Benny grabbed a sharp pencil, to work out the, "Theory Of Everything ", But, all he worked out with his pencil, was constipation; ...

We went Trick Or Treating, in Newbury, to see  what that was about, It was Memorial Day weekend, so no candy was handed out, So, what trick ...

Poor old, teenager, Sad Zack, laid crying on his back, Crying over attractiveness, Zackery, did lack, When he talked to girls, He often had ...

When cast upon me, is a tigers eye, He be thinking, onion ring, or French fry, And, what of my meat? What parts should he eat? He's drea...

I drove my small foreign built, coup car, off the side of the road, Which is sad, because my little car doubles, as my abode, A deep, wet di...

I saw Leonardo da Vinci sitting in my dead, apple tree, He was painting an unflattering oily portrait of little me, I told him his painting ...

There is a neighbor dog, named Kyle, He always sleeps quite a while, He eats his meal, Does his toilet deal, Today, I stepped in his pile.

I'm a reformed, great powers witch, but a back slider, Because I turned a fly into a big, black spider, The evil deed was all done, My w...

I went to buy a small can of beans, in the Mancelona town, I wanted a can of red beans, but all the beans were kind of brown, I bought a can...