LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I had beautiful ivy plants, growing by my old barn,  I found my Ivy plants dead, one day, and I said, "oh, darn",   Two groundhogs...

Benny used green leaves for toilet paper, and got a bad infection, When he showed his old doctor, the doctor, quickly made a connection, Som...

Benny brutally weed wacked off his weeds, But, weed wacking spread around the weed seeds, It was so very unfair, Benny choked out on the air...

My raspberries needed more care, But I hadn't the water to spare, So they all got real grumpy, And surrounded my dumpy, And demanded tha...

Cold rainy weather makes us feel pain called, the cruds, The arthritis pain, we fight with the suds, We want mosquitos to bite, To take our ...

The seeds of weeds have taken their toll, They've seeded the great hills and the big valley bowl, Of course, now the lawns are all w...

Hey, little guy with the big, high dome, I understand they call you a gnome, I wish you'd leave and go home, Instead around my garden, y...

In May the seedlings upward sputter, Above the bugs with wings, go flutter, In the trees, Peep open leaves, On golf ball grass, I puts my pu...

I walked along a shrubbery ledge, Then, from my chest erupted a juniper wedge, Being back stabbed by shrub wood, Did not feel very good, I h...