LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

There is a fairly young dragon, who lives down by the big lake, He lives in a cave made of clam shells, from his picnic clam bake, Since nic...

I bought several boxes of snack crackers, for my New Year's Eve, They were all cheesy powdered, so we could eat them out of the sleeve, ...

I stuffed so much wood in my steel woodstove, my cabin became really hot, It was so hot that when anyone came inside, their nose would runof...

After over snacking, all evening, on prunes or plums, Tension filled guests, waited in a line, to empty their tums, The pipes took in litera...

Sleeping bears and snoring raccoons, Dream cool dreams, on hot afternoons, Then a walrus stops by, Bringing fish for a fry, After beer and B...

I went to the beach for sunbathing, but I started to cry, We were having a big, beach snowstorm on the Fourth Of July, I had an expensive su...

Four dudes, sitting by some flames at the beach, were eating sweet corn, After fire toasting, they used butter and salt, to adorn, It was co...

I got cracked off on my coffee, because it was way too strong and hot, It was the kind of drink, that if you are stuffed up, it will make yo...

The chicken wings are in the deep freezer; the pails of beer are in the fridge, Grandpa is an old geezer, but he can't keep up drinking ...

You know, all of my friends are make believe, We're getting together, on New Year's Eve, We'll all walk to the pub, Drink a beer...

Jerry had some weird, but mostly mundane work nights, Jerry was a bar bouncer, and he bounced all fights, He threw out the punks, Called cab...

Clancy made some of his famous prison toilet wine, He forgot to flush the toilet; it was not fine, The wine had little floaters, Mostly, the...

New Years Eve I had over all my bosses, And, they drank down all my sauces, My party got praise, But I didn't get a raise, My alcohol br...

They were called the Winter Wonder Band, They Played polka across all the land, People who danced, Were soul enhanced, Gorging on cabbage an...

The bears threw a New Year's party, but Bob was not invited, Last time he got stinking drunk, and the toilet, he blighted, After those p...

Because Donny's diet he darn, done quit, Donny's massive girdle did not quite fit, So Donny's fab brand new suit, Was a tailor...

The big ball was dropped on New Year's Eve,🕛🎉🎉🎉🔔 It crushed a guy below, named Steve,🚶 There was not time for us to grieve,😢 The ...

A leprechaun rode his goose to town, His goose to town, His goose to town, A Leprechaun rode his goose to town, To the leprechaun par...

I like to eat my pork, I like to eat my beans, I like eating two slices of bread, With tuna in betweens, I like to eat cupcake, I like my ta...

No one would party with Marty, Because his basement always smelled farty, So, Marty spiffed up the air,  Put on clean underwear, Still, all ...