LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

My dear neighbor, has a herd of fat goats, He collects their poop in plastic, blue totes, He makes many a big buck, When his totes fill up a...

Serious squirrels love their found, big cigarette butts, Squirrels store found butts away, as if they were nuts, In winter it snows and blow...

My hamster drank water from the Flint River today, He turned into a grasshopper and then hopped away, And, my gerbil named Ben, Drank the...

I live in a tiny tin shack on top of a hill, I am just squatting atop a chemical landfill, The ground is quite runny, And  it smells really ...

In my Tuesday coffee mocca, I found someone's lost toenail, It was big and olive green, and it made me turn quite pale, The nail was fro...

I wish up in Canada, they'd stop the smoking, So that people in Michigan, could stop choking, It just ain't at all fair, There's...

Horrible air, just about everywhere, It comes from Canada, it's like breathing hair, If the lungs get more filled,  I'm afraid I am ...

Ed didn't know there were so many peasants, until Ed took a leak, Ed found a hundred peasants, swimming in the public pee-in creek, It w...

There once was a planet, way out in space, They loved their plastics, even put them in their face, But plastic poisons the inside, All life ...

No big fish in the lake so, I'm not fishing, Too much algae so, no fish fry dishing, Now, in my free time I mow lawn, Fertilize it at br...

The well water from my tap looks really funny, It's brown and gooey and not very runny, Now, it might be caused by the chemical plant ...