LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

My little terrier, has a very kind, pouchIe brain, He brings me my fluffy slippers, and drags to me my cane, I lost my teeth to decay, He ch...

I shopped, and  bought a little metal, fishing boat, and I named it Rim Tim Tin, It was made of tin can-like aluminium, and the aluminium wa...

Christmas is coming, instead of goose, we are going to eat rat, My sister has a BB gun, and she knows where the rats are at, By day, they...

Christmas is coming, I cannot find my pussy cat, I fear she was scared away by a wretched, fruit bat, I know she will come on back, When she...

On the way home from my work, I bought taters, five pounds, I like my fried taters, and share them with my four hounds, They love fried pota...

I bought a fat goose and I named him Christmas, so now he is our Christmas goose, Each morning I kick him out of the kid's bed, and in t...

My grey cat is a villain, a villain is he, He shredded my curtains, and dropped pee in my tea, Teasing my pretty koi,  Brings my cat villain...

When I was admired as a scholar, I never made one single whole dollar, My mind was prepared, Yet, nobody cared, I'm paid to walk dogs le...

One pound of water and five pounds of milk fat, That is the composition of my dumb cat, His name is Old Sleepy Roger, He's an activity d...

I lost the house election, now I must leave my home to go sleep, I was accused of teasing the new dog; I got labeled, a creep, The 5 kids na...

I went white water rafting, one sunny day, The river was yucky with swirling red clay, My little dog, named Gerty, Got her face all dirty, I...

I have a pet snapping turtle, named Miss Jeanie Cross, If I don't feed her enough potatoes, Jean goes boss, She bosses me out the door, ...

I have a pet alpha monkey, and he ate all my bread, He ate all my food proteins too, so soon I will be dead, Alpha monkey can almost fly,  C...

My guppy had babies; it's so very nice to see, She'll go back to her friends when she leaves maternity, The babies move slow, ...

My bestie, blue pig, got all covered with the mud, I set him down in a tub of hot soapy sud, He let on a big, loud squeal, Like a braked Che...

I sat fast down on a fat frog on a log, The messy remains were lapped up by my dog, After my pooch ate frog slop, Pooch went hop, hop, hop, ...

I had a drone fly into my bedroom, and hover over my head, It was definitely from outer space, just like the internets said, It had many fee...

I found some dry hickory, so I lit it to heat a winter stew, I threw in the stew a snow bunny, a dead frog and something that flew, The stew...

I had a toothy, pet fish, his name was Zippy, He was a piranha, he ate my dog Tippy, I yelled at Zippy; he made tears, We made kiss/nice, ov...

I have a big, all orange goldfish that I named Mr. Tew, He likes working leather, that's about all Mr. Tew do, If He passes away, I will...