LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I had a big pet raven, and he liked to eat canary, He used to eat them by the bunch, like a small, yellow berry, The canary birds worked tog...

There was a terrible snow blizzard, and my donkey ran far away, I lost him in the blowing snow, he's in South America, some say, My donk...

I had a big tin purple elephant, I named Algernon, I gave Alger early spring, pink tulips, that he fell upon, He crushed all the pretty flow...

Penny had a handsome, pet peacock, and Penny named him ABC, ABC had a pretty, peacock girlfriend, known as 123,  123 and ABC made a big egg,...

I'm mad; my little, brat sister Katrina, got a brand new, baby horse, The reason she got one is mommy and daddy, were getting a divorce,...

Someone gave me a cute dingbat, gave it to me, totally free, It flies around my apartment, while singing, "ding ding, ding, ding, dee...

Methinks, I lost my little white poodle, pup, My pup did not show up for his nightly sup, He is here, good news, Found pee in my shoes, And,...

I crawled inside the old dog coup, because I miss my dear, old, pal, Sam, I even licked his dish out, it hated like his favorite food, Spam,...

I bought some asparagus for my Christmas dinner, and I covered it with cheese, I dripped over the asparagus dish,  some bacon grease for a r...

My big, lurking, gray cat has many wicked, wicked ways, My cat, Sheila, eats the rats that make my home, their maze, When I enjoy my night c...

My little terrier, has a very kind, pouchIe brain, He brings me my fluffy slippers, and drags to me my cane, I lost my teeth to decay, He ch...

I shopped, and  bought a little metal, fishing boat, and I named it Rim Tim Tin, It was made of tin can-like aluminium, and the aluminium wa...

Christmas is coming, instead of goose, we are going to eat rat, My sister has a BB gun, and she knows where the rats are at, By day, they...

Christmas is coming, I cannot find my pussy cat, I fear she was scared away by a wretched, fruit bat, I know she will come on back, When she...

On the way home from my work, I bought taters, five pounds, I like my fried taters, and share them with my four hounds, They love fried pota...

I bought a fat goose and I named him Christmas, so now he is our Christmas goose, Each morning I kick him out of the kid's bed, and in t...

My grey cat is a villain, a villain is he, He shredded my curtains, and dropped pee in my tea, Teasing my pretty koi,  Brings my cat villain...

When I was admired as a scholar, I never made one single whole dollar, My mind was prepared, Yet, nobody cared, I'm paid to walk dogs le...

One pound of water and five pounds of milk fat, That is the composition of my dumb cat, His name is Old Sleepy Roger, He's an activity d...

I lost the house election, now I must leave my home to go sleep, I was accused of teasing the new dog; I got labeled, a creep, The 5 kids na...