LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

In my garden there was a poisonous snake, He was waiting for a murderous break, And, he found a win, As his fangs pierced my skin, Revenge f...

My mom has lived in a little, cozy, wattle house, Ever since she lost my dear dad, her devoted  spouse, She lives down by the old slurry, Th...

A bear wandered up my driveway, and ate a couple of my kids, My wife, she got extremely hysterical, I just thought, "good rids", T...

Trina got some brand new, pink shoes that fit her tiny, little feet, Mom packed Trina a sack lunch, so she could stuff her small face and ea...

Psychic Mystic Merkel tells the true About the future of me and you, Your mom and dad,  They hate me bad, If we breakup, it'll be a booh...

Jimmy had pants made of real nice Naugahyde, Only pair that exists, and I've never lied, His mama was poor, Couldn't shop at a store...

Daddy goes out on the street, very late at night, Looking for used body parts, when supplies are tight, When old organs fail, Daddy finds so...

Mickey The Picky, was a big, meany grouch, He laid around and complained, from his stuffed couch, That made mom and dad, Fell terribly sad, ...

I went shopping, but, I got ever, so boardy, board, Dollar store tea cozies, is all I can affordy, afford, I saw a nice satin jacket, But, m...

I loved my birdie, more than I loved my mommy named Flo,  Mommy left his cage door open, and out birdie did go, He flew fast and away, Where...

Poor Lucinda got real bad sick, and turned a white and chalky way, She ate poison tree bark, and putrefied into the clay,  Lucinda had no mo...

Mommy says I can't have a puppy, unless I can keep a goldfish alive, So far that's not going well, no matter how hard I strive, Most...

I was an orphan; didn't know from whence I come, On Mother's Day, I felt very glum, So I traveled far, To find a parental star, I we...

I dream of Queenie, my little pup when I was four, She'd eat a plate of tortellini then, go poopy outside the door, Queenie ate litt...

Your rent you must always pay, If you don‘t you‘ll be forced away, Like my parents would always say, “Remember son, no pay no stay.”

My dear little lady Miss Tam, Was the peanut butter that I thought went with my jam, But, her first love was for another, Namely, her...

My fireworks went-off on the forth of July, But, it was inside the car and made my mom cry, No one was hurt, But, mom was real curt...

By Leigh Collin Brandt Behind the flowers in pots of clay, Behind the smiles while children play, There is no other, Like your mother, ...