LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

It's a Saturday night out for my old Uncle Lee, He can kick up his heels, for a small price, nearly free, There's  cards, darts, bin...

Someone raided my big, kitchen pantry, and stole all of my fancy, marmalade, They probably took it to Sunshine Town, where it's worth it...

I love collecting, and listening to music vinyls, But, this week I need to dedicate my time to finals, This could be my week of despair, I...

Trina went to town, for a beef sandwich, with gobs of melted , cheddar cheese, She tells them to hold the tomato, because tomatoes make Trin...

I write all of my limericks, listening to "Sweet Betsy From Pike", That is why in my school records, they described me as a sick...

It is the 1st day of March, and my driveway is really sloppy, When my pickup rolls over it, my pickup goes bippy boppy I said to the kids I ...

I live in rural America, where the bestest food is fried spleen, We eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and all meals in between, I like...

I'm afraid feeble has become friend, hound, All he does is eat weeds and laze around, He's 16 years old, That's ancient I'm ...

Because Titus was one of the old boys, He still loved ticker tape and tinker toys, No modern stuff, Titus was tough, He ate red meat and nev...

Douglas had an old VCR, But, he couldn't find anything to play in it, They no longer put movies on those old wind up tapes, Instead, ...

Dark circles under the eyes, Flabby bulges in the thighs, Teeth with stains, Big weight gains, You turned 21, it's no surprise.

I see you've turned 32, And, your old soul's feeling blue, Every workday you rue, No energy to do, But, you still got some teeth so,...