LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Santa  gave everyone a can of spinach, for their present, Christmas Day, Then Magic Santa, rode off triumphantly, in his vintage, canned goo...

My full name is Little Uncle Huey, I live in  a old beer stinker, shoey, I have lived here for lots of years, Raised a family; many tears, I...

I had a beautiful, pet log, its name was Daisy, I'd sit on it, and talk to it, like I was crazy, Then one frosty, and sunny day, A logge...

To work, I wore my brand new paisley suit, That very day, my boss gave me the boot, He said never come back, It was a permanent sack, "...

Today I found a wrinkled carrot, sealed tight in a glass mason jar, It got really dry and spongy, sitting in the backseat of my car, Where d...

I'm a baby hermit, and my ma put me to bed, I fell fast asleep, when I laid down my hermit head, My strange, weird hermit genes, Made me...

I ate fried bananas and frog eggs, it cost me a pretty coin, I had it forever; I stole it from a jukebox in Des Moines, The coin was a silve...

Rene  had a pretty dancing Pitbull, named Trina, Rene trained Trina to dance like a real ballerina, Trina danced the Pirouette, From daybrea...

I had parmesan cheese frog in my roaster, Thick garlic/onion bread in my wide toaster, It's the bestest of dinners, The best of the big ...

I had a hen that laid 46 eggs, I had a bug that had 46 legs, I had a fish with one flipper, It was a strange dipsy dipper, For bologna, my d...

Ben's toe nails were a yard longer than his feet, Ben showed them off by walking barefoot down the street, But, all the neighbors made f...

My entire universe consists of strings, I put strings on fiddles and banjos and things, I run string for cloths lines, I string tie-up grape...

I once had a pet  blood sucker named Pete, Only my blood Pete would eat, And as Pete grew much fatter, I became mad as a hatter, Lack of blo...

There was a slithering orange snake in the snow, He slithered out onto the highway to glow, When they saw the snow snake, Each  car hit the ...

Hey, little guy with the big, high dome, I understand they call you a gnome, I wish you'd leave and go home, Instead around my garden, y...

My little dog named Mabel, Is mentally unstable,  She chewed the legs off the kitchen table, And everything fell on the floor, My little dog...

On Christmas we eat frozen berries,🍓 And lots of nuts and cherries,🍒🌰 We never eat meat,🐔🐀🐿🐘🐖🐄🐩 From critters with feet,👣👣👣👣 W...