LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I like to eat a little pineapple, it helps me digest my pills, I also take an antacid, because the acidic fruit juice,  kills, I whiten my t...

There was a little werewolf in the tree, The werewolf sat there waiting, just for me, He growled and showed he was grumpy, So I gave him a f...

Goldfish Rhonda, walked on her tale, out of the sea, She brought me gold, so I could wear bling and watch tv, I made buttered popcorn, She h...

When I was little, I saw a bear, He was full of stuffing and had no hair, He slept with me in bed, Up by my baby head, So all the wild monst...

I tripped over my toes, That started off my woes, I hit my head, I went to bed, For breakfast, I had macaroni bows.

I rode a great big spaceship all the way to Mars, To write an article on their electric cars, I went to my Martian hotel, To rest there for ...

I went to the city theatre, which was located downtown, They wouldn't let me in, so I called the manager a bad noun, Although I have no ...

An atomic bomb fell on my bat shed, The bomb went off then my bats were dead, But under some melting rubber tires, Some bats became vampires...

I was attacked by zombies, and they were my kith and kin, They opened my head, ate my brains like sardines in a tin, Fed kids who were poor,...

I was on a great sand dune, Waiting for the rise of moon, Waited there all afternoon, Ate a cookie, macaroon, Need a toilet, please rise soo...

The water was calm and the skies were clear, So I went bobber fishing just off the pier But my red and white, Was invisible that night, Caus...

With pots and pans, a dinner I'll make,  Desert will be a choc frosting cake, I'll then have a nightcap, Take a night nap, In the a....

Nero drank soda pop all week long, He would not stop, did not know it was wrong, But, then late at night, His bed felt not quite right, And,...

Nancy the scorpion has one nasty bite, It is because her long tail is wound up very tight, Her tail has such a sting, She displays it ...

There are things that go on in the night, That makes us move to the nearest light, We are all afraid, Of death’s accolade, That stalks u...