LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I had some blue, cooked and canned tuna, and it tasted so bad, Worse than that green venison, I ate so often, as a lad, I could not keep eit...

Today, I went to a doctor, and he insisted I was brain dead, He was a specialist, so I had to agree, with all that he said,  My brain is dea...

Benny had a horrible, throbbing, green boil, He got rid of it with a can of snake oil, Benny made worldwide, billions, Selling snake oils to...

Benny went to a foot doctor, to have all his toes dejammed, This was soon on social media, now Benny's getting spamed, Spam was one of B...

Danny went to the special foot doctor to check out his feet, His feet were getting real skinny, although he'd often overeat, Seems Danny...

The vicious wolverine bit off my middle toe, I doubt I can get another mid-toe to grow, He ripped out my lungs and face, Fast, like he was i...

Poor, crazy Jimmy spent a ton of cash, To get rid of a contagious, rare rash, It started on his toes, Went up to his nose, It went to his br...

The authorities insisted I was insane, They insisted, and put a chip into my brain, The chip made me much less smart, I push a grocery cart,...

I went to.the doctor's office to have them take out stiches, It cost me every coin I got, I cleaned out my britches, They covered my wou...

There was a little titmouse chirping in a tree, The little titmouse chirped and chirped, a Mozart melody, It was the Turkish March in C, He ...

My bill collectors suggested, I sell my kidney and my spleen, They said they were trying to help me, and not trying to be mean, So, I sold a...

A famous brain scientist showed up, just outside of my homes front door, The smarty wanted my brain tissues, 3-4 pounds, no a thing more, I ...

My two biggest toes were all mold, My three little toes, shivered cold, I queried  my disease, Regarding frozen toesies, Chop, chop, was wha...

My doctor said, doctors once cured people by making them bleed, I replied that modern doctors make people bleed, because of greed, My doctor...

Down the mountain I skied with fantastic skill And the mountain I skied was no bunny hill, Then came a horrible stumble, I took a half mile ...

Circles, circles, circles on my eyelids and my nose, I figured I had ringworm, and I got it from my cloths, So I asked my favorite teach, He...