LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Christmas is coming, instead of goose, we are going to eat rat, My sister has a BB gun, and she knows where the rats are at, By day, they...

Winter came and brought misery, misery, I am told, It blocked the paths of all creatures, and suffered them, the cold, Cold hurts the face, ...

I parboil ground hog,  to make them nice and tender, I eat too much ground hog, that is why I ain't too slender, I deliver the ground ho...

For a chicken meal, I went out to a farm, I bought a live chicken, intending it harm, Her beautiful name was Grace, I took her back to my pl...

I walked into the butcher shop, and found a dire werewolf, lurking the store, He had eaten all the butchers and clerks, and the old guy who ...

I went outside and saw the great blue sky, I watched my neighbor's, big, fat piggies fly,  I hoped one would crash, Then its body I'...

I bought some healthy meatless protein burger, today, It was rather expensive, for my very low, low pay, I know it is a costly waste, But I ...

I was so very hungry, the noodles tasted real yummy, They were not at all done, so they were sitting in my tummy, Then my pig was so raw, To...

The Loch Ness monster has ate the seahorse, named Flip, From the time we were little, Flip was tied to my hip, Nessie did my Flip wrong, So ...

Chef made the bestest ever, kidney pie, It was so delicious, I asked chef,"why?" Chef said he made kidneys appeal, By wrapping wit...

The fog was so thick, it blinded my eyes, On the road ahead, I did not know what lies, Well, it was a bear, A grizzly affair, The bear pulle...

Me thinks my stew meat was foreign born, From overhead flypaper the wind doth torn, But, the stew isn't for me, So, I'll just lea...

I eat chicken for every meal, And to and from work; behind the wheel, I like chicken for a night snacky, Or any hunger attacky, And corn bre...

I went to deer camp, and a cougar was there, She ripped out my throat, and there was blood in the air, I could not utter a word, And, the la...

Henry ate tainted pork, then said he couldn't stay, So he ran to the toilet which was two blocks away, He ran into a nun, That ended his...

Christmas is coming, and I didn't know where the goose was at, Turns out it had a lover, and the lover was a bat, Now the babies fly aro...

I went and found a demon, eating his dinner out in the wood, He was chomping on someone's arms and legs, while smacking his lips real go...

Peter Pig was ground into sample sausages, down the street at Vinny's Store, The customers sampled Peter Pig, until Peter was no more, T...