LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

When I was admired as a scholar, I never made one single whole dollar, My mind was prepared, Yet, nobody cared, I'm paid to walk dogs le...

I use to have a job that pays, but I don't have one anymore, I use to work half a day, cleaning both the toilets at a store, I am disapp...

I just realized that I am in an "ooh, ooh" economy, It feels worse than when I had my court ordered lobotomy, Rib roast prices are...

The sun sank down and burned up the Autumn, red trees, That made birdies chirp, and it stirred up the sweet bees, The bees moved their caram...

My banker informed me, I'm quickly going broke, it would seem, Nobody is investing, in my coins that are known as meme The coins display...

My kippers are so expensive; way too high, I cannot understand the any reasons, why? I just have the means, To buy canned sardines, The bone...

I knew my finances were in trouble, when  I couldn't afford turnips, at the store, When I can't afford to buy turnips, I know that I...

The economy is as repulsive as gray, boogered snot,15 With no money for rent, I find vacant homes, for a quick squat,14 Sometimes, there is ...

All financial schemes are doing a crumble, While all of my stocks, tumble, tumble, tumble, I'm vacating, the here, Gonna drink some root...

I invested heavily in hot stocks, I also bought some gold and silver rocks, I fretted my brain away, Until the end of the day, Always lookin...

The economy is in the sewer, not the gutter, I sold all my golf clubs, including my office putter, To have rent that's nearly free, I mo...

If I had some meme coins, I'd spend them on beautiful you, On your big round red nose, and your eyes, so watery-blue. I'd buy you a ...

I found a silver penny, lying out on an old, blacktop street, It was dated 1943, when a penny bought you meat, Inflation has taken a big tol...

I bought crypto-currency, and I got a surprise, I had laser beams, flying out of my beady eyes, I eye laser some nice pork, Drank red wine t...

By my dining table, I have a chair for my seat, On top of the dining table, I nothing to eat, Where I bought my table and chair, I spent all...

Jimmy had a grand total of 35 toes, A local celebrity, who everyone knows, Each year he gets a parade, And all his toes are displayed, He br...

I lost my money in shadow banking, While the markets rose my account was tanking, Of course when the markets eroded, My account  then imp...

I now have a gorgeous Valentine, named four, I had of course three past one's, I once did adore, I save money, using my brains, And repu...

I went home to my little shack that was all made of candy, I had to repair it all the time, because of my billy goat, named Randy, Randy eat...

I just ate some spoiled, real stringy string beans, I bought them from band kids, who were in their mid-teens, They need money for camp, So ...