LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

It's a Saturday night out for my old Uncle Lee, He can kick up his heels, for a small price, nearly free, There's  cards, darts, bin...

Bronson was a beaver bear, His species was really rare, He built damns with logs, Frightened cats and dogs, A cave was his main lair. ...

The Skegemog Lake monster attacked my tin boat, He bit it in half, so it would no longer float, But, I got a real special wish, Skeggey was...

My mama laid me down to sleep, with my Mr. Tuttle doll, Mr. Tuttle was a dead pet rat, stuffed by my Auntie Moll, We grew up as jobless, poo...

I went into the woods hunting, and I found me a deer, It was the end of November, and cold weather was here, I fired my big gun, The deer to...

The Ides of March have come and gone, Old Caesar's curse has been a yawn, Maybe next year, The earth won't be here, Or, maybe I'...

A sudden massive, storm downpour washed my  city away, I floated amongst parts of buildings in Saginaw Bay, Then out of the dark, Comes this...

The vicious wolverine bit off my middle toe, I doubt I can get another mid-toe to grow, He ripped out my lungs and face, Fast, like he was i...

BEDBUG LIMERICK Jason found some bed bugs that were sucking on his knee, He picked them off one at a time and let each bug go free, Georg...

I opened a store to sell people a quick lunch, I sold cake, sandwiches and ice cold lemon punch, It was downtown Kalkaska, Not the one in Ne...

I went to Kalkaska, to visit the queen, She was not there, but she left her trampoline, I did a  jumpity jumped, Until the ceiling I bumped,...

I went out back of the high school to march with the dress band, I was the only one there, save for the bear eating a hand, I forgot my bear...

Katy was a mountain lion, who really loved to eat, She only snacked on campers, because campers are so sweet, Katy would eat the campers dow...

When trunk slammers go north,  the locals assume their station, They always smile and act real nice, or suffer a tip cessation,  They're...

Two old Teddy bears lived way out in the backwoods, They made rainbow candles, sold through shops in the hoods, Then they diversified, Makin...

Out in the woods lived two bears named Earl and Roy, They sometimes ate acorns, but fed on mostly soy, One day, from their cabin they came o...

A woody was pecking a hole in my door, A rat was gnawing up through my vinyl floor, Then a buck and a doe, Smashed through my window, Next c...

There are lots of zombies living out on backwoods streets, Waiting for tourist, seasonal treats, So come stay a spell, Where the real zombie...

In winter out in Michigan's deep pine woods, I've lived mostly on canned beans and a lot of dry goods, I've lived in just shac...

The festival of the rubber ducks, It's not for the gobbles or the cluck, clucks, It's just for quackers, Down pillow packers, On the...