LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

My wife has been down to neighbor Ned's house, all night and day, Ned is stud handsome and divorced, and real lonely, some say, I'm ...

There was this real handsome mink, his name was Saginaw Sam, He had luxurious fur, because Sam ate fatty ham, Sam dropped out of banjo schoo...

I bought some delicious, almond nuts, and they were all tainted, With some nasty bacteria, the almonds had been painted, I took them back to...

I went to a wedding between an ogre and troll, It was real deep in a cave, I felt like a ground mole, Neither of them was Einstein bright, I...

Ann Teek, divorced her mean, cheating spouse, Used her settlement, to buy a house, She was close to the city, Got dates; she was quite prett...

I walk with Miss Sally towards the shadow of Beth, Though it be a torture, it's better than death, Sally and Beth did not tarry, After h...

Benny had a really big red nose, His nostrils were like petals on a rose, His drinking was fair, But, food consumption was not there, So...

I heard a echo in my house, It was the voice of Jingles, my late spouse, Jingles said to me, " You'll never be free," And ...

Sammy use to work on teeth, Until he married his best friend, Keith, They honeymoon-snorkeled a coral reef, While snacking on a can of beef,...

Nuclear bombs fell on my house, And everything died, even the mouse, I had nowhere to go, I just sat in my glow, Another glow-in-dark, becam...

I married a ninja named rose, In various positions she’d pose, I checked out a girl named Clare, And, to my demise and despair, I found ...

I went down to the neighborhood store, The prices were higher than ever before, I found the main man, I asked “tell what you can?”, He s...