LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

My beautiful, brand new sailboat was seven meters long, I named her after a punk band, The Seven Meters Song, Because of bourbon and tea, I ...

I went downhill skiing, and ran into a tree, I was dead on the scene, and they couldn't revive me, While I drifted into the sky, I waved...

A big polar vortex came down after me, That's why I'm buried in an ice and snow sea, I've dug all about, Found no real way out, ...

The guy was away handling pots and pans, He was the cook on a ship named, The Hans, When the ship sunk down, That cook guy did drown, Trying...

My wonderful, gentle, tender foot, Worked long shifts on chimneys, clearing soot, On the roof one day, He slid fast away, He now feeds a flo...

I got depressed when I got left by my Phil, So I got me some dill seeds and grew me some dill, My licenced dill farm, Done no one no harm,  ...

Some guy got lost way out in my woods, We robbed him, we were dressed with yellow hoods, I told him, "follow my bro, The Toad", ...

Every time Tim fell in love,💘💘💘 his love was unrequited,💔💔💔  Though Tim's hurt gave him great misery😿😿😿💦💦💦,Tim's love wa...