LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Santa went walking one night, and met a snow monster, and she was pretty, The snow monster came up north, because the snow had melted in the...

I went to the Symphony to hear me some Brahms, When I get really stressed out, the Brahms music calms, But, as the Valkyries roared, My bloo...

Bob was sleeping all quiet, in his warm bed upstairs, When he awoke hearing footsteps of three, great big bears, When they entered his bedro...

This morning, I saw a feral hog, and he was dancing in my neighbor's yard, The big beast showed off such amazing dance moves, that he ca...

100% of the men who age, will physic change, Their belts will ride down low, in a below the belly range, As their bones shrink smaller, Youn...

There was a boogeyman who hung around a boogey-bog, He had a big boogey-cat, and a little boogey-dog, He drank boogey-beer, He ate boogey-de...

When I fell out my window; I slapped the pavement, and knew I was doomed, I bled out on the meat wagon, and at a fairly young age, entombed,...

The price of groceries has brought me down on my weak knees, I just bought two slices of bread, and a thin slice of cheese, I was charged 20...

I received a summons, to go see the great judge, in court,🏛 The great judge said, he had a very, concerning report,🐿 While at the dart clu...

I bought a little motorbike, so I could journey into town, The flying bugs splat me in the face, and that makes me have a frown, In town, my...

It was six or seven in the evening, when Grandad Perry caught his cold, He lived in a nursing home, and was so ancient, his body was mostly ...

The dumb dinosaur, he just went way too far, When he ate up grandma's old Volkswagen car, Grandma used her big straw broom, It was the d...

I went into the woods hunting for bear, But, a Bigfoot had already been there, He ate all the bears, Except, for some hairs, And then, t...

Larry has been busy with looksmaxxing for the past twenty-four weeks, Larry wants to be much better looking, that's the career path he s...

It's a Saturday night out for my old Uncle Lee, He can kick up his heels, for a small price, nearly free, There's  cards, darts, bin...

Celine looked out the window at cars, While dreaming of moving to mars, But, mars is all gravel and rocks, With sundial tic-tocs, And...

I went to the moon, and fell down into a deep pit, There I found an alien boxed, space-time, travel kit, I traveled back to sports games Bet...

I went to the airport and got stopped by some goons, They wouldn't let me pass, unless I sang them some tunes, I knew I could not go wro...

Billy loved his helium, and put it in his private, balloon toy, Billy loved his helium gas so much, we called him, Helium Boy, Dear Helium B...

I've been quantum tunneling all of my married life, It has made for an ideal marriage with my dear, wife, When the wife enters a room, T...