LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

 Before the quaint, horse drawn wagon, climbed the old mill road hill, It was loaded with dry, ancient saw dust, from the old mill, For apar...

I once worked in a factory, and oh, what a bore, I once checked out groceries at a grocery store, I worked in cable news, Got hooked on the ...

My full name is Little Uncle Huey, I live in  a old beer stinker, shoey, I have lived here for lots of years, Raised a family; many tears, I...

I dreamed I was a employed, as a soda jerk, Way back in the 1950's, when there was such work, I'd be a one man team, Who sold real c...

Benny bought a python, so he could learn to write some computer code, The python squeezed poor Benny so tight, Benny lost his big, colon loa...

I drove down to the grocery store, and walked through it twice, Everything was too high priced, even the beans and rice, I thought at least ...

I'm a plumber in Michigan, and that's what I do, Ever since I lost my plumb job, back when they closed down the zoo, With my mop and...

I moved to Clare Michigan, to be a cutter of hair, Things were going very well, until in walks a Clare bear, I cut some hair off the top, Th...

Uncle Lee scraped up all the gum, that people had chewed, People left gum all over, and in places, so rude, But, it gave Lee a paying job, T...

Uncle Lee worked on a garbage truck, and picked up garbage all day long, While Uncle Lee picked all the garbage up, he would always sing a s...

My wonderful, gentle, tender foot, Worked long shifts on chimneys, clearing soot, On the roof one day, He slid fast away, He now feeds a flo...

Marko is very bitter, Since he's been banned from Twitter, A down toilet seat omiter, His hair is all green glitter, He is a doggy sitte...

There once was a TV intern named Vern Benderback, He always ate his cheese balls from a brown paper sack, Vern was married twice, Both times...

Jimmy was short and tubby, and he had the Santa call, So he got a job as Santa, working at the Midtown Mall, He worked there for fifty years...

Ron sat on the toilet while listening to Mozart, Ron thought through osmosis, it would make him real smart, Ron had a chemistry test, Yet, i...

From my burgers grease is dripping, At the fast food place I'm burger flipping, It's been my lifelong career, Due to my couns...

Jumbo couldn't find the toilet paper, so he went back to bed, He figured if a day starts nasty, the day was full of dread, At noon, Jumb...

Denny the pot painter was famous in these parts, His purple painted pots, won the pot critics hearts, He was a great painter, Of the pot con...

I thought if I went to college, I'd have money to burn Instead, my debt was a nightmare, a lifelong concern, Never thought of a house, N...

I have a little pet, named Gerbil Jones, I let him chew on all the chicken bones, When he turned five and twenty, I figured I fed him plenty...