LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I had a drone fly into my bedroom, and hover over my head, It was definitely from outer space, just like the internets said, It had many fee...

Jimmy had worms burrowing deep into his ears, He had worm eggs sliding down his face in his tears, He bought topical lotions, And consumable...

There was something goopy, that came up through my straw, I sucked it from my soda pop, into my jaw, What a maddening, big waste, I used a t...

I live in Michigan, we have zillions of bugs They eat into your eyeballs, you share them, with hugs, Bugs poop on your pans and dishes, They...

Some ticks fell down from the heavenly, blue sky, They fell from the dead willow tree; oh dear, my, I ran to my hotrod, But, no use was my b...

The apples on the tree were wormy and ripe, The apples on the ground were squishy like tripe, So, wormy apples it be, That I picked from the...

Little Ginger was a furry, She was a mouse not in a hurry, She moved slowly, tap tap, Got stuck in a glue trap, Then the furry started to wo...

I lost my gold nose ring when it fell on the floor, Stolen by a chipmunk, because I left open the door, Chipmunks are such thieves, They hid...

Whilst I cleaned fungus, from between my toes, at Lou's, An alien from mars, stole my brand new blue/pink shoes, That Martian, done a re...

I dated an alien from Omicron Eat, They had no arms, but had kick-ass feet, They made me a meal, Out of Omicron eel, With rolls made from Om...

I am full of parasites, Micro ones and big ones with bites, They burrow in, Organs and skin, Making irritating days, restless nights.