LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

In order to time travel into the past, I bought a new pair of shoes, Walking backward real fast, causes travel into the past; it's in th...

I'm not good at reading, and my writing is pretty sad, I can type some on my cellphone, so that negates some bad, I find rad, iconic mem...

I dug up some tree roots to make some root beer, It didn't taste too good, and my belly felt queer, I got foam on my clothes, When it ra...

They said I should act more like a human bean, I thought that comment was very crass and mean, At any party, Beans make one farty, Then futu...

In my head I have a thinker, Sometimes, he is a stinker, Like math class, I will not pass, I'm tired in class, so I take a winker.

I'm the only one I know that does not have a quantum physics degree, All that fancy math and stuff are just too much for me, I don't...

My kids didn't respect me, because their learning went too far, So, I banned them from the internet, and bought them a VCR, All their bo...

At our schools, we got rid of all of the books, We know all smart people are nothing, but crooks, We replaced all the teachers,  With porn s...

I burned the books in my house, and what did I get? Three sons in the jail, and they each have a dimwit, They turned out, not to be bright, ...

I don't speak good German, and my French is even worse, When I try speaking Latin, I get called disgusting and perverse,   But the langu...

I was told that dinosaurs never existed, I was told my brain was evil and twisted, That was such bad news, That I sang the blues, For that m...