LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I went out to the barn and what surprise did I find, A bear waiting out there, like a hunter in a blind, He waited there just for me,  He po...

There is this glowing space laser, some call it the sun, It aims straight down on me, like some Martian ray gun, It's not at all funny, ...

My coffee creamer had turned into a Romano cheese, It had been on the porch a fortnight, and did a deep freeze, My coffee floated cheese chu...

During summer heat, my air conditioner died, It ran so very long, it caught fire and fried, I thought it would be nice, If I made frozen ice...

Jimmy's noodles were so hot, They burnt his teeth that had the rot, He sucked the water cooler, With his drooler, Water going down mixed...

I went to the woods, bought a quaint cabin, made out of snow, So in the summer, I would have a fancy place to go, On one hot summer day, I g...

Thursday, Sammy got his meat in the afternoon mail, Hot pepperoni that turned Sammy's pimples all pale, It burned while going down, In h...

The rain pelted down on my brain, It made me 3/4 insane, I was way out in the woods, Picking mushroom goody goods, Dreamed of coco, flavored...

It got so very hot, even my little pansies died, The last live flowers in my garden, and I cried, and cried,  Now only plastic flowers, I gr...

It was so hot the earth felt like a grill, I was cooking and needed a chill, My AC would not work, Because of a utility clerk, I was cut off...

I got burnt by some hot solar beams, Now I'm covered with ointments and creams, It has gotten so hot, My brains cooked quite a lot, Now ...

Three watermelons sat in one garden spot, They were out in the sun and wow was it hot, To cool down one used a lotion, Another moved to t...