LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Santa went walking one night, and met a snow monster, and she was pretty, The snow monster came up north, because the snow had melted in the...

Santa's reign deer got sick this year, so now Santa is using flying pigs, The pigs are always hungry, but they want to eat only dried, f...

Trina boarded the Christmas train to the big town of Kalamazoo, Once there, Trina went Christmas thrifting, buying cheap trinkets that were ...

Santa's sleigh and reindeer landed on my frail, trailer top, I heard the sleigh land, and reindeer hooves landing, plop, plop,plop,  Thr...

Santa likes his fresh sugar cookies, but Santa loves his eggnog,  The one thing Santa loves much better, is a fried leg, off a frog, Some pe...

I went to Santa's toy store and the shelves were all empty,14 Normally, Santa makes sure his store has toys, a plenty,14 Why were there ...

 My teacher, the incredible, Mr. Bells, Teaches hypnosis, conjuring and spells, He turned me into a pheasant, That was not very pleasant, I ...

I went and caught some grayling, and I fixed them with a some pinto beans, I would have flavored them with steak sauce, but for the price, I...

We went Trick Or Treating, in Newbury, to see  what that was about, It was Memorial Day weekend, so no candy was handed out, So, what trick ...

Early tomorrow, I am getting two brand new ears, They are both completely made, out of Christmas bulb, spheres, I must watch who I pass, So ...

For every May Day, I get wired, Then May Day pole dancing makes me tired, Then I go home, Do a doomscroll roam, Drink skunky beer, then slee...

Harry stepped on my tulips, so he got no Easter cheesecake, or pie, Harry didn't get Easter Dinner, because the crushed tulips made me c...

I went to the local grocery store, and I bought some greens, I bought some pork chop pork meat as a treat, and dish soap that cleans, I boug...

My valentine always expects a nice, fancy thing, Like a thick, golden bracelet, or fancy, gemstone ring, This year I built a nice scrapbook,...

The chunky groundhog was attacked by a hawk, As the big hawk ate him, she went squawk, squawk, Squawk, His real name in life, was Phil, He t...

I got in the car, and drove up north to the potato bake, Nana and gramps roasted spuds in a fire, down by the lake, The spuds were wrapped i...

I spent my Christmas morning, hand feeding red apples to the deer, I petted every single deer, showing them they need not fear, My next door...

All of my kids demanded a real, live pony for Christmas, this year, Ponies have become way too pricey, so I bought a nice, sweet reindeer, I...

For Christmas, I bought nanna,🍷 the biggest, most savage, green beast, It eats only un-alive meat, and ancient, full dead, wine yeast, The ...

The only gift I got Christmas day, was a pine tree full of bugs, When I brought my tree inside, the bugs thawed and fell onto my rugs, Oh, C...