LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I always have the chewing and eating of beef burgs, on my brain, I feel that cattle are my victims; it's brain farts for the insane, Why...

I cannot buy a pizza pie, Because the price was raised too high, The price of pop? Too high, full stop, My belly hurts; my eyeballs cry..

People have no meat and people have no gruel, Kids lick chalk off the blackboard, for lunch at school, This is a real poor town, Unless, you...

 I went to the grocery store, hoped to buy a giant can of beans, I've got 15, very heavy kids to feed, and 9 of them are teens, I was re...

Your neighbor next door down, knows, That you have juicy fingers and toes, As the neighbor's belly gets tight, He'll definitely take...

I taught my entire coup of chickens, to poop on the peonies, Poop is a great fertilizer, and the resulting flowers, do please, Peonies cover...

All of my big brain was completely locked-in, On getting some sweet, baked beans, out of a tin, It's was a small, rusty can The opener r...

I have been eating the dogs and the cats, And, the guano that falls from the cave bats, I've eaten the things under logs, Like bugs, sna...

My kids are eating couch found goobers, because I'm all out of doe, I went outside to dig for taters, but the tates are in deep snow, At...

I was so darn hungry, I started eating fresh, fallen snow, I flavored it with weed seeds, that didn't cause me poisoning, woe, I flavore...

Prices are way high, and I can't shop for beer, All of the good stuff, they cannot sell it here, Can't afford chicken legs, Forget a...

I dug up four, large ground moles, for my evening din, din, I found a bottle of ketchup; overall a win, win, I had to feed my cat, too, To s...

I went out to scrape pavement, because I was hungry for sup, Didn't know if the critter was a weasel, or someone's stray pup, Too sm...

I snuck onboard a counting down spaceship, that was heading into space, I didn't know where I was going, but I knew it was a better plac...

I do not give out the trick or treats, Just go away you kids, move your feets, Winter grows near, Candy grows dear, With long winter months,...

I went to Newberry Town to buy some canned chicken, They didn't have any there, for the price I was pickin', I went out to my hen ho...

When the groceries get gone and times get really hard, Sometimes you eat supper from things found in the yard, Sometimes you skip meat, If t...

They used the defibrillator, to start Benny's heart back up, He now must lower cholesterol, so no more bacon cheese steaks, for sup, Alt...

Billy had turtle feet, He couldn't dance to a beat, German opera he could sing, A falsetto voice, he'd make ring, Provided Billy had...

I spotted a bear on ice skates come zooming from across the lake, He eyed me as I stuffed my mouth with frosting covered cake, So I dropped ...