LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

My sister had a baby in the back of a self-driving, rental car, I am telling you right now, this story you will find, is really bizarre, Sis...

I walked through the trees to find the forest, but not one forest was ever found, All I found were leaves, stumps, logs, and trees upon more...

My outdoor toilet was all full of flowers, They grew well after all the rain showers, They were such a bouquet, I just let them stay, ...

Eating meat was the only way that King Benny was pleased, Now Benny is all nasty and scurvy diseased, His servants offered him fruits,...

On Halloween I'll trick for treats,             I'll fill my bag all up with sweets, When I've finished my roam, I'll...

I was fluttering around like a dizzy, busy bee, Then I fell into a glass cup of hot chamomile tea, I started to cook and drown, But, as I wa...

I go down to the Butcher's and buy "mystery meat", They won't tell me what it is, but its real cheap to eat, You can taste...

Tom ate honey until he smelled like a bee, Which attracted the bears from every county, Tom feared a bad beaten, But instead, he was eate...

Jimmy thought education was king,  He was sure great riches it'd bring, But, after eight years of college, And vast quantities of kno...

Hamlet was a shy dipsy diver bug, He'd dive if he caught a glimpse of your mug, He'd swim ten foot away, Before you could say, ...

Someone ate all of my chickens last night, The only trace found were feathers, all white, It must be the bear, He left his tracks there, ...

Fare thee well my Pumpkin Patch, May you  grow pumpkins that I might hatch, So that I might take the seeds, For on such yields my f...

Ninety-nine minnows swam way out to sea, Then along came a shark, and then there were three, Out of those ninety-nine minnows, three swam ...

I was marching down the road in a band, When the wind blew and I was covered with sand, It plugged the hole in my trombone, Which gave...

My trumpet notes are really flat, Since my brother beat it with a bat, He beat my oboe on the floor, And slammed my trombone in ma's tru...

My drip coffee maker drips no more, It's a Holiday so I can't get to a store, The world is looking fuzzy, Without my coffee buzzy, I...

When Jimbo's chicken coop caught fire, The chickens escaped over the chicken wire, But, they didn't get anywhere, They...

Moose Gillies would brag and would boast, About his annual summer corn roast, But, this year he got bent, When in the fire the corn went,...

There was a clog in my kitchen sink drain, While under my sink the pipes leaked stinky rain, Then, my floorboards got soft, And, I plunge...

Benny woke up this morning, and noticed a bump on his dome, He figured he banged his head during his late night, bathroom roam, Benny sat in...