LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I had a really bad, bad fright, It was a weird monster I met one night, It was a green Amoeba, It's name was Reba, I think my eyeb...

When the snow blows and cold comes through your cracks, You stuff newspaper in the holes to keep warm your shacks, Shove up the stove with...

My coffee maker went to pot, I bought it cheap to save a lot, I went back to the store, Bought one for much more, I thought it would be ...

My robot-butler gave me such a scare, I fired him and I thought he wouldn't care But on my brand-new cell phone, He called up a drone...

I decided to work on Wall Street, To prepare I ate only raw meat, At first I felt like a lion, Then, I swore I was dyin', Vomit paid...

There was a farmer who lived in a dell, For him things did not go very well, His pigs all had fleas, The winter froze out his bees, The ...

In college football it must be said, For Michigan, Michigan State is dread, When the Spartans started to advance, The U of M did not have...

Penny traveled down the road too fast, And, became a part of the criminal caste, So, she got a big fine, But, Penny didn't whine, Fo...

I went ice fishing one sunny spring day, I walked out on the ice on the bay, But, when I turned around, I was deep water bound, My ice i...

My taxes are past due, Now, I'm in deep stew, And, I'm feeling blue, There's no one to sue, My accountant, to the Cayman Isl...

Jim's homemade pizza didn't taste so good, It tasted like fungus on wet firewood, It was outhouse-like smelly, And, made sharp pa...

Now it is again January first, We hope for good but, fear the worst, Things aren't so sunny, In a world with no money, I'm afrai...