LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I went camping in somebody's very private, backyard, They  had gone overseas, and had no neighbors for a guard, They had a sauna and poo...

All of my big brain was completely locked-in, On getting some sweet, baked beans, out of a tin, It's was a small, rusty can The opener r...

Arnie went to the park, and pitched a big tent, He made himself rich by charging folks, a rent, To avoid a police warning, Armies tent came ...

My stock portfolio, it went away, My old polio, got much worse today, I'm so cold and defeated, Can't afford to get heated, More cru...

My neighbors were setting off holiday crackers, The crackers sounded like cannon blast attackers, One hit my shingled, tar roof, Caused a fi...

As I turned my old pickup down my home-sweet-home road, Noticed a contractor was tearing down my abode, I phone called a cop, Said please ma...

As I wandered in the cold streets, Checking dumpsters for my best eats, Found a kiddie slide, Took a down slide ride, Little adventures are ...

It was a little house on a big  city lot, No one was home, so I decided, make a squat, I lived there a whole year, Then happened, my worst f...

I'm due to make a house payment, but I've got a fun joke to play, I'm not going to make the payment, by the scheduled payment da...

Mr. Mugger had some debt, He had bills he could not pay, He figured he was really set, ‘Till he lost his job one day, Mr. Mugger lost h...

I went into the village to find me some heat, I found a huge box, lying free in the street, I just got moved in, And along comes my kin, I l...

Poor Lucinda got real bad sick, and turned a white and chalky way, She ate poison tree bark, and putrefied into the clay,  Lucinda had no mo...

My little red barn is no more, The snow on the roof pushed the roof to the floor, And, as for my cows, They suffered ouches and oughs, B...

It is the winter of my woe, It got so cold I froze my toe, Can't pay for heat, I'm out of doe, The roof caved in because of snow, I...

My prop taxes are due once again, They've gone up on my shack made of tin, During the last four big fires, My trailer lost all four tire...

The roof on my home was felled by the snow, The roof completely collapsed, so I had nowhere to go, I could only weep, I had no castle ...

With Jim's mortgage it was sink or swim, In choices the banks gave no other, So, Jim chose the choice easiest for him, He moved i...

A limerick made a banker look bad, But, the banker got even not mad, He took the Limerick man’s house, Bankrupted his spouse, Now, the L...