LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Poor old, teenager, Sad Zack, laid crying on his back, Crying over attractiveness, Zackery, did lack, When he talked to girls, He often had ...

It was so hot out, Jim's coffee couldn't keep ice, It was so hot out, it killed all Jim's head lice, His girl, Sweet Polly Sue, ...

Ron was proud to be a big alpha male, At nightclubs, he would really set sail, Ron hit on ladies all night, Got into fight after fight, And ...

"Promises, promises" my fiance would say, She said that to  me almost every day, Then, she became most annoyed, When I chose to...

Vic had a toe nail that grew into his toe, He suffered with pain and all kinds of woe, He took out a hammer, Gave a toe a good bammer, T...

Boris wrote a limerick for his ex-girlfriend Patty, He said her teeth were knurly and hair was mattie, Patty’s revenge was not slight, Wi...

My robot, cleaned floor, Girlfriend, robot cleaned her, Robot, girlfriend gone.

I'm afraid I told my girlfriend a little fib, When I bragged about my fabulous crib, She was taken aback, With my tar papered shack, ...

Girlfriend drinks beer, “Expensive habit”, I said, Big mouth, she has job.

My girlfriend is crazy, She says that I am lazy, I try to work, But, I'm a jerk, I just want a big raizy.

There was a little bee named Barry, He couldn’t get a girlfriend ‘cause his legs were hairy, So he tried to groom, Shaved his legs zoom, ...