LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I put on all my beautiful bling, Went out to do karaoke, a sing, Then something went, way wrong, I ran into King Kong, He striped me, of eve...

Trina tried to do the Rat Dance, with her little sister Sue, They danced too close together, and knocked each other black and blue, The sist...

Every single Christmas, I get fired, It is never quite the Christmas, desired, But, I got a nice big stash, A coffee can full of cash, I...

Uncle Lee was in the hood, buying sausage and pop, Uncle Lee wore his new shoes that go flip and then flop, Uncle Lee, then went back to his...

I am a baby hermit, and I have climbed up into a tree, Ma and pa and sis and bro, have been looking all around for me, When one walks under ...

Jim's jet ski crashed on a rock, by the shore, His jet ski, he can ride it, never more, It's messy, it's bad, Terminated, sad, J...

Benny went to Livonia to star in some flicks, Romantic comedies, but they only had hicks, His backwoods simple ways, Along with stupid gaze,...

Doh Dah was a dancer up in Canada, Sault Ste. Marie, Every time Doh Dah danced, the police came to arrest, he, Doh Dah had a club, He leased...

Halloween is over, and I already miss it very much, I like dressing up like Elvis, and drinking my wicked warlock punch, Halloween comes but...

My kite is flying high in the sky, How it's there?  I don't know why, It ain't no joke, My kite cord broke, Near a year ago, thi...

Little Three Beans loved his salty, sippy soups, He use to love salads, but they gave him poops, Three Beans never eats meats, Because they ...

My dinosaur, she ran away, To the park, where she could play, She drank some pond water, Sat on the teeter-totter, Then slid down the slide;...

Nancy Debbie Tew, Climbed trees that had a view, She scraped her knee, And swallowed a bee, The tree manufacturer, she sue.

For fun I'd go looking for bears, I'd poke them with a stick for some dares, But, one bear had a trick, He broke my poky-stick...

I went to the Snow Park because I had a free pass, But it was so cold and snowy, I froze my mass, But I had some cheer, Drinking ice cold ro...

Today I'll.go outside, if I can, To make me a perfect snowman, First I roll some snowballs, Then I stack them up, talls, Then I rub him ...

Torty is a really simple pink pig, So simple he failed algebra, calc and then trig, So Torty quit school,  Bought a small plastic pool, And ...

On Friday the 13th we went skinny dipping at Lake Meade, "Our folks should never know", is what we all agreed, But, along  comes t...