LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I invented starship warp drive, and I went on a trip, It did not take me very long, in my warp driving ship, I went to a planet called Mars,...

My ghee ran away with my beans, They have been in love, since their teens, I hope that it's true, That they marry, too, And, adopt some ...

I went to.visit my friend, Tuna Fish, and it set off my nose alarm, A tuna needs deodorant under each fin, like a human does, each arm, More...

I use to have four giant, sharp claws, They gave other clawed monsters, a big pause, Opponents got rip shredded, Disarmed, and then beheaded...

There were many powerful monsters, made by Franklin Fritz, He created them from scratch, out of human, itsy bits, His designs, won many awar...

I gathered up my jumpy dog, and locked down my crumbling hovel, We walked down to the sandy beach, with my toy plastic pail and shovel, Buil...

I dreamt I was a future, space cowboy, and my name was Ding Dong, I flew across a prairie of stars, with my guitar and a song, I had 12 live...

Two pancakes walked into a bar, They wanted to borrow a car, They were tossed on a plate, By a lumberjack, mate, Then, bathed with sy...

Frank was bald as a marble, yet coveted thick, long hair, Frank was inspired, when he eye spied, Big Benny The Bear, Frank went hunting for ...

I dislike it when the Spring clock gets moved forward, one hour, It clearly disrupts my time traveler super power, It hurts my quantum brain...

There's a crawlspace underneath the old, stone barn, Something bad lives there, and if it gets you, Darn! It has sharp, smelly claws, Bi...

My doctor told me I was a werewolf, and there is nothing he can do, Forever, I'll be howling at the moon, whenever it is full or new, I ...

The big, bad dragon really screamed, the big, bad dragon really roared, After Sammy bled it dry, with a little, pretend sword, Then Sammy go...

I invested in sugar markets, because I got a sweet deal, I bought sugar futures, because they have that upper classy feel, I could prance as...

There were three evil trolls way out in the deep woods, They were snacking on good Little Red Riding Hoods, A hungry dragon was flying, Thou...

When I was young, I lived in the land of fairies, We ate pumpkin seeds, and golden raspberries, We avoided cats and dogs, And all the longer...

Kayzears the dragon has lived for 12,000 years, She loves eating pie, and pickled human ears, She can make someone cry, By eating their thig...

My spaceship disassembled, but I kept traveling into space, A disaster it resembled, as I gnawed my lips from my face, My trajectory took me...

A dragon came to see me and said his name was William Tell, I replied that my name was Anonymous, a troll that lived in the well, He didn...

There was a unicorn who slept down under, The big trees when he heard thunder, He made a loud breeze, When he cut his cheese, And the...