LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

There was a rabbit named Randy, He only ate Halloween candy, He got really big, Now he oinks like a pig, And drowns his sorrows with bra...

There was a college student named Drake, Over and over the same class he'd take, The first time he got a "C", The second ti...

There was an ogre named Pete, He kept his hovel real neat, They thought he was mean, Because he was clean, They refused to sell him some...

I invested in real estate, stocks and, bonds, While the wizards on Wall Street waved their wands, I fell for their pitch, They got reall...

There once was a big biker named Farley, He liked to ride around on his Harley, His tire blew out, He flew all about, And landed in a bi...

There was a monster named Lucky, from mars, He liked fancy beer and fast cars, When he was driving too fast, His luck did not last, Now, ...

Ben ran over a sharp wire, It punctured right through his tire, In just a little bit, The wire the lightning hit, That caused a massive ...

There was a sweet lady named Lil, She worked down at the bar and grill, She'd do as you please, With more onions and cheese, Her bur...

There is a young farmer named Jake, He hates to hoe and to rake, He would not milk his cows, Or feed slop to his sows, He should quit fo...

There was a rancher named Giles, He hailed from the British Isles, He raised billy-goats, On green beans and oats, The smell would hit y...

Shelly was a goody two shoes, She would not smoke or touch the booze, But, when she left Randy, She ate too much candy, Now, wherever sh...

My woodstove was in a really bad spot, It was in the library with books and that lot, Well my yard looks really neat, The house burnt up ...

There once was a ghost they called Boo. His eyes, hair and teeth were all blue, He bleached himself white, The bleach burned day and ni...

There once was a ghost named Nancy, She liked to dress up really fancy, She liked to wear hats, All covered with bats, Which made any on...

There once was a boater named Frank, He kept running up on the bank, He once missed the dock, Slammed into a rock, Of course then, his ...

Phil the farmer really likes his lunch, He eats ham and, cheese and, cherry punch, His teeth have gone bad, And, he lost them, so sad, H...

George waited to see the New Year, He drank fifty cans of light beer, To the bathroom he went, He stayed in there 'till Lent, So he ...

There was a boxer named Duff, He thought he was really tough, He took on a dare, And fist fought a bear, Now Duff is looking real rough....

There was a big guy named Larry, With two noses he really looked scary, So, he had a nose job, Now with only one knob, Larry might actua...

TRAVERSE BAY TIME Traverse Bay is big and blue, It’s water fun through and through, You can cross with a boat, Or else swim or just flo...