LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Bernie was a big toothed beaver, and he toothed down thousands of big trees, Bernie knew just how to fall them, checking the soil type, and ...

I saw a fat iguana fall out of a tall tree, I thought I would eat it, because its meat was all free, Then on down came another, An iguana br...

My old burn barrel got way out of control, Burning the woods down was never my real goal, And Bigfoot got real mad, And he made me real sad,...

I went to the old oak forest, with my big chainsaw in hand, I was there to attack trees, because I don't like where they stand, The tree...

I was on the screaming fire truck, as it left the big firehouse, We headed out onto the hot burning plains, where lived, and dwelt the grous...

Trina likes to Rat Dance where it's a dark and dismal, rural, Sometimes with a dancing mink, and sometimes a dancing squirrel, When Trin...

There was a busy beaver that chewed on my hickory, He chewed right through the hard, hardwood, then downward fell my  tree, It fell upon my ...

Jeb and Joey were two squirrels, who lived way up in a tree, They were very happy sharing their nuts, while watching tv, But something went ...

Some ticks fell down from the heavenly, blue sky, They fell from the dead willow tree; oh dear, my, I ran to my hotrod, But, no use was my b...

My mayonnaise had an odor, so I set it outside my backdoor, A grizzly bear ate the whole jar, he died, with a whimper, and no roar, My mayon...

There are these big, vicious wolves called alpha-males, When I feed them people, the wolves wag their tails, I'm a druid in the woods, I...

The bad wolf was so white, he blended in with the snow, He crept up behind me, everywhere that I'd go, As I fell to my knees, I felt the...

They may smile, and seem quick to please, Those bears skulking out beyond the trees, They want a nice warm meal, Walking meat has appeal, Wh...

A great big snow tiger, chased frightened Santa in his sleigh, The reindeer team had been drinking, and could not fly away, When the big sno...

I went into the deep, dark woods, and found a big dinosaur leg, It was attached to a dinosaur, sitting on top of an egg, The dinosaur was no...

Canadian smoke fills my mouth and lungs, It's tastes unpleasant, when trading tongues, Each Canadian smoke shower, Makes Honey taste bit...

I wish up in Canada, they'd stop the smoking, So that people in Michigan, could stop choking, It just ain't at all fair, There's...

My foot stepped upon a toadstool, now I feel like a toad, I have this inclination, to sun myself out in the road, First I'll eat a coupl...

I wanted candy cigarettes but could find none, anywheres, Then I heard tell those cigs were kept by two old woodsy bears, At their cabin in ...

I'm a Michigan tourist guide, taking people to find swampy bugs, It's a fab, fab tour, but you must bring lunch and a couple of jugs...