LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

There was a rabbit named Randy, He only ate Halloween candy, He got really big, Now he oinks like a pig, And drowns his sorrows with bra...

Benny collected coins of silver and gold, They came from the mint, authenticated, I’m told, He should have been very rich, But there was ...

I went salmon fishing early this spring, I was pulled in like a real ding-a-ling, The fish pulled me down river, The cold gave me a shive...

There was an ogre named Pete, He kept his hovel real neat, They thought he was mean, Because he was clean, They refused to sell him some...

There once was a snowman named Bill, He always had a bad chill, But, one sunny day, Bill melted away, So, getting warm wasn't a thri...

There once was a big biker named Farley, He liked to ride around on his Harley, His tire blew out, He flew all about, And landed in a bi...

There was a monster named Lucky, from mars, He liked fancy beer and fast cars, When he was driving too fast, His luck did not last, Now, ...

On Halloween a witch flew her broom, She flew really low and went Zoom!!! She hit a rock, It cleaned her clock, Her broom then blew up a...

There is a young farmer named Jake, He hates to hoe and to rake, He would not milk his cows, Or feed slop to his sows, He should quit fo...

It is extremely sad, The tragedy that befell my bud Brad, He ate angel food cake, Then drowned in a lake, Seems you are what you eat and...

There was a rancher named Giles, He hailed from the British Isles, He raised billy-goats, On green beans and oats, The smell would hit y...

Shelly was a goody two shoes, She would not smoke or touch the booze, But, when she left Randy, She ate too much candy, Now, wherever sh...

There once was a ghost they called Boo. His eyes, hair and teeth were all blue, He bleached himself white, The bleach burned day and ni...

There once was a boater named Frank, He kept running up on the bank, He once missed the dock, Slammed into a rock, Of course then, his ...

There was a goldfish name of Bucky, At the casino he was nothing but, lucky, Every pull came up cherries, No bananas of berries, He swam...

George waited to see the New Year, He drank fifty cans of light beer, To the bathroom he went, He stayed in there 'till Lent, So he ...

I went fishing on Manistee Lake, But a leaking old boat I did take, I got really wet, And really upset, Then went swimming home; for goo...

There was a boxer named Duff, He thought he was really tough, He took on a dare, And fist fought a bear, Now Duff is looking real rough....

TRAVERSE BAY TIME Traverse Bay is big and blue, It’s water fun through and through, You can cross with a boat, Or else swim or just flo...

KALKASKA TIME Kalkaska is a place with bears, They’re one of Mother Nature’s terrors, If you hear one grunt, You must not confront, Co...