LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I drove on down to the old town, called Kalamazoo, I bought at a bovine auction, a cow that goes, "moo", I trained her to loudly s...

Hector lost his rizz, playing hide and seek with the chickens, cows and sheep, People thought he had no bizz, being a creepy, farm animal cr...

I went far off into space to find me a livable moon, I wanted to move to a nice, warm moon, and move there real soon, I found one that was p...

I grow red potatoes on the side of a steep hill, Most people can't quite stand up straight, but I have that skill, I go hoe, hoe, hoe, h...

We rurals  are celebrating the fall, by a mass roasting of corn, Some want a pig, but I've been hungry for veal, since that new calf was...

 There was a willow growing in my raspberries, and it was getting real big, I went and sharpened my best shovel, and for the roots, I began ...

Farley was a chicken farmer, who was allergic to chicken meat, So he would have to eat chicken eggs, if chicken he was to eat, One day Farle...

This years tomatoes, did not attain the size, big, The foul taste was like an ancient, rotten, pine twig, The plants were of bad seed, I thi...

There was a fire breathing dragon, and he was acting like a goof, The dragon, was dancing down the center of my big red barns, tin roof, The...

My grapes have gone sour, and my berries have been defiled, By some sort of a blue stink bug, that came out of the wild, My fruit farm has g...

I new an old salty, heifer, many called her a cow, If you called her a cow to her face, she gave you a pow, It sounds screw lose, nutter biz...

I once owned a heifer, and her name was Jane, She liked eating cow grass, out on the great plain, She had, pretty, blond hair, Won a prize, ...

Because my cherry trees are all blooming, They will make fine cherries, I am assuming, I'll have food to eat, They will be a treat, I...

I knew my finances were in trouble, when  I couldn't afford turnips, at the store, When I can't afford to buy turnips, I know that I...

My little rooster chicken, will never hunt, His name is Matilda, and he is a runt, He likes blackberry brandy, And, hard cinnamon candy, He ...

I drove to beach to pick up some fresh oysters, and maybe a few dozen fresh clams, There were sheep in the road, so I did the beep, beep, bu...

My dear neighbor, has a herd of fat goats, He collects their poop in plastic, blue totes, He makes many a big buck, When his totes fill up a...

There's a crawlspace underneath the old, stone barn, Something bad lives there, and if it gets you, Darn! It has sharp, smelly claws, Bi...

We once built a space rocket, it was shaped like a shoe, Didn't look aerodynamic, but it fly, flown and flew, We burned it straight to M...

After the farm hay, I put away,🚜🌄 An October rainbow made my day,🌈 I picked my pumpkin patch,🎃 It was a record batch,💲 Some bugs ate my...