LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I keep a large chamber full of tormented, lost souls, Brought to me by the little, cemetery ground moles, Many departed are crying, They are...

I rode on a magic reindeer in the velvet sky, I stole the deer from Santa, at the North Pole Fish Fry, I rode the reindeer all night, Until ...

Because of my horrible neighbor, Pat, My four car tires went completely flat, He took a long, steely nail, Gave each tire an impale, Now I c...

Now that we zombies have won the last of all wars, We are eating the living to settle old scores, The living killed zombies, like dad, That ...

A witch put a horrible curse upon my goldfish, Fred, Turned Fred into a gator, and Fred tried to eat me dead, Although I tried to beg, Fred ...

There was a man named Johnson, his favorite number was 666. Johnson was so very mean, he hugged his love with 2 sharp ice picks, One day Joh...

It is the evil number 13, on a Friday, In the scary movies, it is known as the "die day", You all better beware, Get too much of a...

There was a nasty man, he was so really mean, He'd spit tobacco chaw on his only friend, Dean, But, Dean developed a master plan, He too...

I was learning to cast black witchy spells, Along came these anti-speller do wells, They tethered me to a tree, To burn the witch out of me,...

My sister was dating a troll, Making more trolls, was his only goal, Mommy chased him away, With her special stare-ray, That cut into his da...

Jim's driveway was all washed away, So Jim's trailer is where he had to stay, A vampire was on the loose He bled out Jim's goose...

The three siblings were bad, that is without any doubt, Bader than head lice, food poisoning, rabies and gout, They were not chicken, They w...

The creatures plot against me; those that live beneath the snow, They are watching my every move; when I come and go, The snakes, the rats, ...

A leprechaun ate my garden of daisies, When I saw my garden, I got the crazies, So I grabs me a stick, For that leprechaun, sick, But, he ta...

I  had this fish, his name was Richie, He complained that he was itchy, The cat offered a claw, Gave Ritchie a naw, Now my Ritchie is really...

When my Halloween pumpkin started to smoke, I put out the fire with my Coke, With a fork, gave Pumpky a little poke, Hoped no curse, he will...

The October full moon gives Sam a shaking scare, Sam fears a monster or zombie, instead of just a mean bear, Sam can't go to sleep, When...

There was an old banker named Gene, Everyone knew he was mean, He would charge huge fees, Put you down on your knees, His interest rates...