LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

My small bank account is shrinking because of the big, heavy snow, It cost me big money for snow plowing, and my savings grows low, My fathe...

So, methinks I was headed up to Mars, But my spaceship fell back down and crushed cars, I got a lawsuit, From each crushed toot, toot, Now I...

Oh, the massively big momma spider, cried, Because all of her cute babies, drowned and died, They all washed far away, Got buried under clay...

The enormous, big, bad boulder, came rolling down the hill, It took out my camper, it was a total camper kill, I had not any place to stay, ...

I was watching a big meteor flying at us from the sky, It was quite apparent that soon it would hit us, and we would die, Then a bright spac...

There was a great river that fell from the sky, It crashed on my trailer, and I thought I'd die, My trailer has leaks, It's full of ...

My roommate left the water on, after he washed off his crud, It turned into a little river, that turned into a flood, Our little apartment f...

Jimbo liked his potato snack, He bought them by the case to stack, But, then one day, A flood took them away, Now, the snacks feed the critt...

The oceans all boiled away, Where they went no one can say, A world that's hotter,  Without any water, Is a place I'm not going to s...

It is the winter of my woe, It got so cold I froze my toe, Can't pay for heat, I'm out of doe, The roof caved in because of snow, I...

My prop taxes are due once again, They've gone up on my shack made of tin, During the last four big fires, My trailer lost all four tire...

In the general vicinity of the farm, A fire broke out, four alarm, The potatoes got baked, The corn stalks were coal caked, But, the...

I served punch in my fanciest bowl, In the bottom the bowl had a hole, That's where my punch would drain, On ma's carpet, it left a ...