LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Mama raised her tulips, and daddy raised his sweet corn, That's the type of family, that little me was born, We ate corn in our pudding,...

It takes sixty bugs to make bubble bug stew, You can add a few more, like the Pilgrims do, Sea salt, to preferred taste, Won't add pound...

My kids are eating couch found goobers, because I'm all out of doe, I went outside to dig for taters, but the tates are in deep snow, At...

I ate two onion bagels, and that was lunch, I washed them down with a sweet, raspberry punch, My teeth were full of ruts, On break I chewed ...

Don't care if online I'm hacked, but they hacked my potato chips, Then they got into my cupboard, and stole some canned fish kips. I...

I knew this fire breathing dragon, named Fred, He wouldn't eat anything, unless it was dead, In his belly, Fred did carry, A big, vast p...

I drove on up to Newbury to purchase some chocolate treats, They make chocolate the old fashioned way; they mix it with their feets, Their c...

Ding Dong the big bear only ate skunk meat, It was so tasty, skunk meat was so sweet, Since he was a small feller, Ding Dong didn't have...

It's a full moon on Christmas Eve, and you'd better watch yourself, Or you could be eaten, by a thing called Santa's elf, Cannib...

I went to England to visit some kings, But they were all busy doing important things, I had me a draft, Got back on my raft, Paddled back to...

I had to make a post haste decline, When I was offered some parsnip wine, I'm willing to taste, Wines made from toothpaste, But vegetabl...

I was so very hungry, the noodles tasted real yummy, They were not at all done, so they were sitting in my tummy, Then my pig was so raw, To...

Larry had a rhubarb farm, and made cherry-rhubarb wine, His wine tasted really good, if on crawdads you did dine, It never tasted good with ...

I ordered from an AI, my dinner online, The AI took my order and I thought all was fine, I ordered chicken and fries, Got pancakes and fried...

At every fireworks display on the  4th Of July, Vampires rain down on tourists, from out of the sky, The tourists are alarmed, But not serio...

I cook delicious food while listening to music in c minor, That's why I call my restaurant "The C Minor Diner", I use to liste...

Little Three Beans loved his salty, sippy soups, He use to love salads, but they gave him poops, Three Beans never eats meats, Because they ...

All I had was a bottle of glue, Some tuna that had turned green and blue, Some bug that had warts, Little twigs of all sorts, And that's...

The meat from the can was supposed to be pork, But, it was real chewy and tasted like cork, So, I took a glug of my drink, Which made my gum...

I had some chickened noodles, chickened really good, They tasted like fresh chicken, like chickened noodles always should, Then I ate a road...