LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

If I were what I eat, I would be a big bow shaped noodle, That is the food I eat, and I share it with my toy poodle, I look like a big pimpl...

The place where I live, we have little income means, That is why we live on rice, beetle bugs and beans, I eat a few teaspoons of food, I...

Every time I catch a trout, it is too dinky, so I throw it back, I want to catch a large keeper, so I can give its head a big rock whack, My...

Big, bad Donny was bed rotting for days and days, He only left bed to do potty or to graze, Donny drank soda sip, sip, sip, Then on the pott...

I'm afraid the universe is on it's last call, Soon the universe will be nothing at all, It's not yet, even May, But, what should...

Deary Ben gave up on life, and he totally quit, Then he just sat in a chair, and he knit and he knit, He knitted me sneakers, But they were ...

Derek the drummer, did drum everyday, He would drum most of the time, since his mom passed away, When Derek got tired, He would just get rew...

On the first day of May it snowed, On the second day it blowed, I did not care, I live in despair, I stayed indoors with my toad.

My shack is ugly, and it smells like a reindeer took a poop, It appears the reindeer left it, atop of my stoop, I lit three candles to burn ...

Fall is here to freeze my corn, I wish that fall was never born, My last rose has died away, I won't see  flowers until mid-May, I be al...

The rainstorm made my roof leak and, it leaked a lot, The rain filled up every plastic bowl I had and, every cooking pot, So, the rain then ...