LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Butcher the beagle liked to eat flies, High in protein; those crunchy meat pies, Once he chomped down on a bee, Which made Butcher see, When...

My swollen eyeballs popped out of my head, They were ate by my hound doggy, named Fred, Fred's mouth gave out a loud burp, His backside ...

The Christmas presents I got, I took back to the store, I can use the cash from the returns, much, much more, I can pay my heat and lights, ...

Johnny picked a giant booger, and that booger was record big, It was such a giant booger, Johnny really had to dig, Johnny felt some awful p...

My icicles fell off the roof,  They melted, so I don't have the proof, They fell on a big bear, He gave my doggie a scare, My doggie gav...

There was a dog named Feelings, Feelings liked to roll around in the dirt, His master kept Feelings all penned up, Because he didn’t want...

My big doggy, his name is Clark, He bites neighbors and goes, "Bark! Bark! Bark!" The cops came to see him one day, They had a bac...

I had a feisty Pomeranian named Little Dog Lee, He would bite down on my pant cuffs and not let them be, But, when I offered him bacon, ...

My dog bit my face off and it was not pleasant, He can't see too well and thought I a pheasant, I don't blame him too much, And, ...

My dog Crusty, Once named Rusty, Will misbehave, So, he won't bathe, At best my dog smells musty.