LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

A robot stole my packed, full grocery cart; it was full of bananas, I was taking them to the nursing home, to feed the grandpas and nanas, F...

My fish tank was so full of guppies, they flopped onto the floor, They'd dry and my kitty would eat them, then looked around for more, T...

I bought some fluoride toothpaste that came in a white, glass jar, I did not have to squeeze it, so I thought it would go far, It caught me ...

There are dirty diapers in the morning, and all day long, Dirty diapers, dirty diapers, I did something wrong, I use to be in my fish boat, ...

I saw the sun go down way deep into the ground, So  I sent out my doggie to hound and hound, Well, he would run and run, He never foun...

I observed a shinny, pretty flower, I feared a big, ugly bug might devour, So I got some bug spray, And, I sprayed away, The flower was dead...

Before Benny went back to school, he said, "bye", to Winston Church, Winston is a parakeet, who sits and poops upon his perch, Ben...

Ben's toe nails were a yard longer than his feet, Ben showed them off by walking barefoot down the street, But, all the neighbors made f...

My towel was my little piece of paradise on the beach, It held down beneath me the worm, bug, crab and blood sucking leach, But then came th...

Varmints come and varmints go, Some bring lice; some virus woe, Don't be a dope, Wash hands soap, And shower from head to toe.

Heaven is full of goldfish, thanks to me, Every time I buy one, they live two weeks, maybe three, The body goes into the toilet bowl, One fl...

Tinker was a little nuts, He ate only hornet guts, They made is mouth sting, And that was his thing, Along with giving his lawn super cuts.